Heavy Rain is a heavy rain of QuanticFeces

Recently during Walmart’s Black Friday sales, I was browsing through their assortment of on-sale PS3 games. Among them was a game I hadn’t the chance to play outside a brief demo at a friend’s house, but I had heard was an absolute must-play. That game is QuanticDream’s Heavy Rain.

I brought it home and popped it in to begin playing, and go figure I get an Installation screen, while the screen told me how to fold this piece of origami paper included with the game. You know what’s sad about this review, you just read my one true positive point about the game. Thanks to Heavy Rain, I now know how to fold origami.

Then, the game begins. Heavy Rain starts with your main character getting out of bed… after you flick the right stick upward. *face palm* Huh?

Had I known the next eight-or-so hours were gonna be pretty much exactly like this, I would’ve picked up Battlefield 3 instead. My poor PS3 buddies have to be so damn bored, thanks to word of mouth superseding the overall opinion of the game. Heavy Rain, thus far, has proven to be a complete waste of $15. It’s too bad that I probably won’t get more than that when I take it back for trade-in credit.

I find it ironic how so many PS3/360 fans utterly refuse to play Wii games due to the motion controls and “sub-par, non-HD” graphics (as you decide to play some GTA3 on your PS2), yet will pick up a game like Heavy Rain and gobble it up, even though for the most part it’s absolutely WORSE than most Wii games have to offer.

That reminds me of last week when I purchased Zelda Skyward Sword for Wii. It’s been getting true universal acclaim for the unique motion implementation and the clever story-telling. Despite this, the game is being largely ignored by the hardcore crowd because games like Heavy Rain exist.

They exist, and pretend to be something they’re not. I like how one reviewer on Amazon put it; it’s as though they’ve promised us the moon, but arrived with a lump of dried-out clay.

Very well said. Dried out clay is never fun to play with.


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